I wrote this story in Japanese, and it was translated into English with the help of AI.
I was deeply disappointed—by my own mother.
I’m the middle child, sandwiched between two sisters. A few years ago, our parents divorced, and we ended up living with our mother. My father had thrown a fit, resisting the separation, but my mom never backed down. She stood her ground and protected us.
Back then, I was still younger than I am now, but I remember feeling grateful. After all, there are parents out there who would abandon their kids in moments like that. But not our mom. She chose to take all three of us in.
“Mom… are you seeing someone?”
“What’s with the sudden question?”
“Well, you’ve been coming home late lately, and… you just seem kind of giddy.”
It was that odd happiness in her demeanor that made me suspicious.
“Actually, yes,” she said. “He was the one who approached me. You remember, Yuya—you answered the phone when he called. He’s a professor at the grad school I go to.”
My mom had always liked studying. After graduating college before she got married, she had recently decided to go back and pursue a graduate degree to get certified for something. I did remember that phone call. I had passed the phone to her myself.
“Wait—he’s a university professor?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling with a warmth that almost made her cheeks blush.
“Huh. Is he a good guy?”
“He really is.”
“Well… then I guess that’s okay.”
If this had happened right after the divorce, I probably would’ve hated the idea. But seeing how happy she looked, I couldn’t bring myself to oppose it. She always made sure our meals were ready, even when she came home late.
“Still… does Shiori know?”
Shiori is my older sister—four years older—and she’s a college freshman now.
“She does. I told her just the other day.”
“I see. But don’t tell Kanna, okay? I don’t think she can handle it yet.”
“I wasn’t planning to.”
A few months ago, we moved into a new place. Kanna and I had to transfer schools.
I was fine with it, but Kanna, who’s two years younger than me, hasn’t been fitting in.
She’s been struggling—every day seems like a fight for her.
Then one day, I came home to find her confronting our mom.
“I knew something was different,” Kanna said, her voice trembling. “So I’ve been writing everything down in a notebook.”
“I see… maybe I should’ve told you earlier,” Mom replied.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just… it hurts that you’ve changed.”
“I know… But even I want to be happy.”
When I heard Mom say that, something inside me stirred with frustration.
“That’s not what you said. You promised you’d wait, for Kanna’s sake. Please… just stop, at least for her.”
All of us—Kanna, Mom, and probably me too—were overwhelmed with emotion.
Their eyes welled with tears, and seeing that, I felt my chest tighten.
“I get it, Mom. I want you to be happy. And maybe I said something harsh.
But can we just take a breath and calm down?”
I reminded myself that I needed to be calm, too.
“I’m sorry. I’ll finish making dinner,” Mom said, turning back to the half-prepped meal.
Kanna shut herself in her room.
I knew. I knew I didn’t actually mind that Mom had a boyfriend.
And yet… I was still, somewhere deep down, disappointed in her.
The next day, I had a moment alone with my sister Shiori. I told her what had happened the night before.
“Yeah, I figured it’d come to that,” she said.
“You know, Mom told me she’d only ever been with Dad. That’s it. She said… she didn’t want that to be the whole story of her life. She wanted to break free from it. She wanted to know what it was like to be with someone else.”
I stayed silent.
“She’s not wrong, I guess,” Shiori continued. “Kanna’s the one who’s hurting the most. But we just have to be there for her, you know?”
Shiori said that, but the truth is, she’s always been caught up in her own life.
And me? I wasn’t sure how much I could do for Kanna either.
I knew that no matter how close we were as siblings, we weren’t Mom.
Still… telling your own kids that you just want to ‘experience being with another man’?
Even if Shiori’s a college student, isn’t that kind of too much?
Mom ended up dating that guy for a few years.
He came over a few times, and honestly, he seemed like a decent, calm person.
Eventually, Shiori went through a painful breakup.
And around that same time, Mom was glowing with happiness—it became too much for Shiori.
They started to grow distant.
Kanna, on the other hand, was still struggling to get along with people.
She barely spoke, but I did what I could to be there for her.
And then, just after I’d started my second year of high school, Mom got remarried.
Kanna and I went to the wedding.
Shiori didn’t.
But the three of us still gave Mom a bouquet of her favorite flowers as a gift.
She cried when she received it, overwhelmed with emotion.
“Mom,” I said, “I think I’ll start calling him Dad.”
“Really? Thank you… He’s going to be so happy.”
I wanted to see Mom smile. I wanted her to be happy.
After the wedding, we still didn’t know what life was going to look like.
But soon we found out—Mom wasn’t going to live with us anymore.
She and her new husband had rented an apartment nearby.
It wasn’t far, but still, it was separate.
At the time, we were living in a small apartment too, and she said there just wasn’t enough space for all of us.
Even though Mom moved out, she often came over to cook dinner.
But my lunch—I had to buy it myself.
She always left enough money, more than enough, actually.
But Kanna started acting stranger and more distant with each passing day.
She was supposed to take her high school entrance exam that year.
And yet, our mom was off living with another man.
Maybe coming over to cook dinner was her way of making up for it?
That thought made me start resenting it.
Instead of making dinner, I wanted her to just be there for Kanna more.
“Shiori, Kanna’s birthday is coming up. I was thinking, maybe we could buy her that thing she’s been wanting. It’s a bit pricey, but… wanna go in on it together?”
“Yeah. Let’s go shopping for it.”
We both just wanted to do something—anything—to help Kanna feel even a little bit okay.
On her birthday, we gave her the gift she’d been wishing for.
Mom wasn’t there for the celebration.
“Thanks,” Kanna said.
But even though it was something she’d wanted, she didn’t look very happy.
It worried me. I started wondering if her heart was slowly being eaten away from the inside.
“Kanna… do you want to live with Mom?”
She didn’t answer.
Kanna had always been the baby of the family, the one who clung to Mom the most.
She used to be spoiled, too—but after the divorce, it was like she flipped a switch and became overly mature.
Now I wonder if that wasn’t just her forcing herself.
“Kanna, it’s okay to tell us how you really feel.”
Shiori chimed in with a gentle voice. But Kanna still didn’t say a word.
“We just want to know what you really want.
If living with Mom is what you want, I’ll talk to her for you.”
Kanna’s eyes started to fill with tears.
And then she nodded.
“You do want to live with her, huh?”
“But… she left. So it’s probably no good anymore.”
Kanna said it like she was trying to scream while crying.
“Kanna, don’t say that. It’s not ‘no good.’ You’re still just a student.
Mom only moved out because that place was too cramped. Their new place has three rooms.
One’s small, sure, but there’s definitely space for you.”
“Really…?”
Her voice trembled.
She’d been alone at school for so long.
She needed someone—truly needed someone.
I tried my best, but I was still just a kid myself.
That same day, Shiori and I went to see Mom.
When we got to Mom’s place, her new husband wasn’t home.
“Mom, we need to talk,” I said.
“Oh? What is it?” she replied, surprised.
The three of us sat down at the table.
“Kanna wants to live here too. She finally said it out loud. She’s still in middle school, and school’s been tough for her. Please—let her live with you.”
“Mom,” Shiori added, “she’s still underage. We’ve done what we can, but it’s not enough. Please.”
Mom looked troubled.
“Why won’t you say anything?”
I couldn’t help the irritation creeping into my voice.
“I need to talk to Sato about it. I can’t give you an answer right now.”
Her new husband was named Sato.
“Do you think he’ll say no?”
Shiori’s voice was sharper now.
“You’re Kanna’s mother. I get that you need to talk to him, but… shouldn’t you at least try to make this happen?”
Mom still looked unsure.
“We only just started living together, you know…”
Right. A newlywed life. Just the two of them.
“I get it. Whatever,” I muttered and stood up.
Shiori followed me.
It had been less than three months since their marriage.
Mom was a woman, too.
I hated thinking of her that way, but clearly, that mattered.
The next day, I talked with Shiori again.
“You think Mom divorced Dad just for our sake?” she asked.
“She found out he was hitting us behind her back, right? So she left to protect us. That’s what I thought.”
But then something inside me started to scream.
“Even after she found out about the abuse,” Shiori continued, “Dad bought her something she liked, and she called off the divorce. They even went on a trip to Europe.
But apparently, she didn’t enjoy it at all.
She told me… she just started finding Dad disgusting. That’s when she finally decided to leave.”
“…Then why did she take us with her?”
“I think… it was for appearances. Grandma and other people were watching.”
The screaming inside me grew louder—but it felt far away, like it wasn’t mine anymore.
“Grandma told her to wait until Kanna finished high school before remarrying. But Mom yelled back, ‘My life is mine!’ It was… kind of hard to hear, even for me.”
I’d never known any of this.
Everything inside me was going numb.
Where am I right now?
“Yuya? Are you listening?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m listening.
So then… I guess Kanna really can’t live with her, huh?”
“Let’s talk to Sato directly.”
Later, Shiori and I did just that.
Surprisingly, Sato agreed right away.
Kanna started living with Mom.
But after that, Mom stopped coming to cook for us.
Instead, she told us we could always come over for dinner.
Sometimes Shiori and I went.
But Kanna’s face always looked dim, clouded.
One day, I heard from Mom that Kanna had barged into their bedroom—on purpose—while she and Sato were being intimate.
That’s what Mom told me, clearly frustrated.
I didn’t know what to say. I just listened.
Maybe it was wrong of Kanna to do that.
But maybe she was so mentally and emotionally frayed that she couldn’t handle anything anymore.
All I could hope for was that she would pass her high school exams and make at least one good friend.
But then, little by little, Kanna started avoiding me when I went to visit Mom.
So I stopped going.
Unlike her, I was doing okay at school.
But… I knew that didn’t mean I was okay inside.
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