I wrote this story in Japanese, and it was translated into English with the help of AI.
My country has a conscription system—but it’s not just my country. All men, upon turning 16, must undergo three years of conscription. However, one child born into each family must remain in the military for life. Families that only have daughters must send a daughter. Although girls are also trained, unless they are particularly good at combat or tactics—more so than other men—they will become playthings for those in higher positions. If a child who stays in the military is excellent, their family is also given various provisions. At the very least, they will be able to have a minimum standard of living. This is why many families in poor rural areas have many children, and try to send several into the military. But in reality, many children are too poor to survive until they turn 16.
Ah—it’s my turn. There is a large country with a large land area that is allied with mine. That country has started a war with another country. Since it is a distant place, my country will not suffer direct damage. Nevertheless, because we are allies, I have been ordered to be deployed. I was taught that the supreme leader of my country is a person close to a god. That the leader can do no wrong, and we should just follow whatever he says. Television and radio always praise the leader. They praise our people, saying all others are inferior.
Before joining the military, I believed that too. But—right, this wasn’t my first deployment. In a different battle, I and most of my comrades returned alive. But at that time, I caught a glimpse of the outside world. The outside world—other countries were different from what we had been taught. They overflowed with food, and it seemed as if they had never known the word “hunger.” Even rural areas in the provinces weren’t as poor as my country, and they weren’t hungry after all. That mission was mostly for reconnaissance, and I just had to follow orders. To go against an order or fail a mission would mean death. This war has nothing to do with my country. But for the sake of our ally, many soldiers have already been deployed. And not a single one has returned. We were taught that they haven’t returned because they are continuing their advance. I belong to this country’s elite unit. The elite units are excellent at hand-to-hand combat, tactics, and handling firearms.
Even so, I have a terrible feeling of unease inside me. It seems my comrades feel the same way, but no one says it aloud. If someone were to hear us, it would mean death. Orders are absolute. We have no right to refuse.
“Hey, tell them I fought bravely and was strong,” a comrade next to me said as we were getting closer to the battlefield. I had no words to reply, and simply nodded. We had just met some allied soldiers. We didn’t exchange words. I couldn’t speak their language, but I could tell the faces of my comrades who understood them were pale. Nevertheless, they tightly pursed their lips. But a comrade who understood their words on my left opened his mouth. “No one is going to survive. We’re being used as their shields.” Hearing that, the comrades around me started to stir. “Quiet, you’ll alert the enemy,” the superior officer said with a roar. But everyone knew that the superior officer would leave us soon. “The supreme leader can do no wrong. Be proud that you are able to fight for the leader.” With that, the superior officer left. A superior officer of a lower rank than the one who left will now give us orders. It’s late at night. We started to move forward, keeping our bodies low. An unknown place. An unknown land. Why are we fighting here?
Then, something was floating in the distance. It was firing guns and dropping bombs from above. (That’s the unit that went ahead of us!) We are not fighting humans, so hand-to-hand combat doesn’t matter. We also joined the battle. We threw grenades and tried to shoot them down with guns. Even though we hit them, they didn’t fall. “Throw more grenades! Guns don’t work!” someone yelled in a loud voice. But a bomb was immediately dropped on that spot, and at the corner of my vision, several bodies were blown to pieces. (I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.) I shouldn’t think that. But I can’t shake the fear of death. One after another, everyone was being blown to pieces. Pieces of arms, legs, and torsos were sent flying with splashes of blood, then fell with a thud. Even so, we succeeded in incapacitating some of the drones with our attacks. But I can’t hear very well. I just lost my left arm, too. Someone grabbed my leg. It was a comrade whose lower body had been blown off. “He-help me… I’m scared…” He said only that, and his head slumped. The comrade next to him had a strained look on his face. Maybe he was frightened. The comrade suddenly started to run, trying to escape from the enemy. But someone—the superior officer—fired a gun at his back, and he fell. My comrade, who was a friend of mine, was watching it from a spot a little away from me. But just as his face twitched, his body was torn to pieces by a drone’s bombing. I’m starting to not understand anything anymore. The only thing I understand is that we were just pawns after all. This won’t end until we die.
The happy faces of my family passed through my mind. The place I lived was poor. Not as poor as the area on the other side of the mountains, but it was poor. So my family was always hungry. But in the area on the other side of the mountains, there were rumors of cannibalism. In a place like that, you couldn’t get any nutrition, so children couldn’t even be born in the first place. After I was conscripted and recognized as an excellent soldier, I got to go back to my family once. At that time, my family looked happier than they had ever been, with their stomachs full. They said “thank you” to me. They told me, “Please do your best for our great supreme leader.” (I can’t escape, I can’t escape—everyone is going to die—someone, help me—)
