“Please—could you leave me alone for just a moment?”
The police officer who had guided him seemed to deliberate for a moment, but then honored Soji’s request and left the room, leaving Soji behind.
Soji’s knees buckled as if the strength had left them, and he collapsed onto the floor. He gripped the edge of the table holding the body, clinging to it.
“Namiko… I can’t do this… Please, tell me it’s a lie. Tell me this is a bad dream…”
Soji said this through tears. He was actually hunched over, silently sobbing.
“Namiko, come back. I don’t care what you look like. Don’t leave me and Ayumi behind. I can’t live without you.”
Soji and Namiko had been a loving couple. They were close even when they were dating, but after Ayumi was born, the little girl seemed to strengthen their bond. They cherished each other even more and lived a happy life.
Soji worked in sales, and after marrying Namiko, his career surprisingly took off. Soji had been away on a business trip for two days and was scheduled to return today. Ayumi was in her second year of middle school. While she had some rebellious moments typical of her age, they were still a close family.
Then, Soji received a call on his way home. It was from Namiko’s parents, who lived about fifteen minutes away by car.
“Soji-kun—get home quickly—Ayumi is with us. So, go straight to the police—”
It was a call from Namiko’s father, who always spoke concisely and to the point. But the meaning was unclear. Soji thought perhaps the poor connection on the Shinkansen was making it hard to hear. Still, the word “police” sparked a faint anxiety in him.
“Father-in-law, I’m sorry, it’s hard to hear. What was that about the police?”
“I said—Na-Namiko was murdered. Namiko was murdered.”
“What?! I don’t quite understand, did I hear that wrong?”
“No! Namiko was murdered.”
At that moment, his mind went blank, as if his thoughts had suddenly stopped.
“Soji-kun, did you hear me? Soji-kun.”
Namiko’s father was calling his name on the other end of the line. But all strength had left Soji’s body, and his hands dropped onto his knees. He held the phone lightly, almost dropping it, and remained stunned for a while.
Soon, the announcement for the next station began playing. As the Shinkansen pulled in, the person sitting behind Soji tried to pass in front of him. Soji startled and drew his knees in. The motion nearly made him drop his phone, and he gripped it hard.
(That’s right, my father-in-law had called.)
The call had already ended. Soji called Namiko’s father back.
“Soji-kun, hold it together. I’m still confused too, but you have Ayumi.”
“Yes—I’m on the Shinkansen now, so I’ll head straight to the police. Please look after Ayumi until I come to pick her up.”
“Yes, understood.”
(Namiko, Namiko is dead? I can’t believe it—Murdered? By whom? Why? I can’t believe that—It’s impossible to believe.)
Soji thought this, yet headed straight for the police station.
“Ayumi, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
Soji woke up to Ayumi’s scream. He immediately rushed to her room. Ayumi was huddled in the corner against the wall on her bed, clearly terrified. When Soji saw her, he was relieved and sat down on her bed.
“M-mo, mo-mommy—”
Ayumi was shaking violently.
Ayumi had witnessed the scene when she returned home from club activities: her mother, Namiko, being stabbed at the entrance. She immediately screamed, ran out, and called for help from a person walking nearby, and the police arrived. The culprit has not been caught yet.
Five years had passed since they moved into the newly built house. Living with Namiko’s parents was suggested, but that would cause problems with Ayumi’s school. While it wasn’t an impossible distance to commute by public transport, Namiko’s parents lived in a different city.
Ayumi often screamed in the middle of the night. Having witnessed her mother’s murder, Ayumi was seeing a counselor, but the nightmares continued daily.
Soji should have looked for a place to live within Ayumi’s current school district, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“Ayumi, good morning.”
Soji usually prepared breakfast. Ayumi had nightmares last night, but she got up on time.
“Good morning, Dad.”
Without showing any gloominess, Ayumi sat at the table and started eating. Soji felt relieved seeing her.
(It’s probably fine to stay in this house. I feel like Namiko is still here, so I really don’t want to go anywhere else.)
Patrols were still frequent in the area. Ayumi was going to school every day. At work, colleagues were considerate and reduced his workload and overtime. Today, he was taking accumulated paid leave, as suggested by his boss.
After dropping Ayumi off at school, Soji did the laundry and cleaning. Once everything was done, Soji slumped onto the sofa.
“Namiko, I want to see you. Any form is fine, even in a dream, just come see me—”
Soji muttered this, staring at the floor.
He felt a sudden chill. It was September, but the heat of late summer still lingered. He had turned off the air conditioner and opened the windows while cleaning. Though a breeze came from outside, it wasn’t a cold wind, and Soji should have been sweating slightly.
At his line of sight, he saw a pair of feet. They were a woman’s feet, feet he recognized so well. Soji quickly looked up.
“Namiko!”
“Soji—I love you. Everything was for you—understand?”
The figure that looked like Namiko said this, embracing Soji as he sat on the sofa. Soji felt no warmth. But he smelled the perfume Namiko often wore.
“Namiko.”
Soji hugged her back. The feel was slightly different from the body he had hugged countless times before. Still, Soji clung to her.
“I—I’m being dragged away—so—”
“Namiko, don’t go anywhere. Stay with me forever.”
“Soji—stay with me—I’m lonely too—”
“Namiko, me too. I’ll never let you go.”
Namiko moved slightly away from Soji. She looked at his face and opened her mouth again. But whatever she said, Soji couldn’t hear it.
“Namiko!”
The ceiling of his living room came into view. Soji had apparently fallen asleep on the sofa. He gradually began to feel the heat of the room, where the air conditioner was off.
In the evening, Ayumi came home. She immediately went to take a bath. Soji took the folded laundry into Ayumi’s room.
On Ayumi’s desk was a book he had never seen before.
“What is this?”
Curious, Soji picked it up and opened it.
[The dead are not the same as they were in life. Their thoughts and feelings turn evil. This is because they cling to this world due to regret or lingering attachments.
Also, if those around the deceased in life think of them too strongly, they will be anchored to this world. In that case, too, they are not the same as they were in life. The strength of human emotion can sometimes open doors that should remain shut. The living must take care not to be taken away by the dead.]
Soji read the contents on the page he had randomly opened.
“Dad, what are you doing?”
Soji jumped and turned around. Ayumi was standing there.
“Oh, nothing… I just came to put away the laundry.”
Ayumi looked at the book in Soji’s hand.
“I borrowed that book from my friend’s older sister. I told her I’ve been having scary things happen, and she lent it to me.”
“Scary things?”
Soji put the book back in its place.
“I still have dreams about when Mom died—but not just that, around here—”
Saying that, Ayumi pointed just past the foot of her bed.
“I sometimes see Mommy covered in blood.”
(Ayumi’s shock must be immeasurable.)
“That must be just a dream, Ayumi. You saw your mother like that, so the shock hasn’t gone away yet.”
“No, no! That’s not a dream! Mommy covered in blood is glaring at me.”
“Ayumi, it’s okay—Mommy would never glare at you. It’s probably guilt because you feel like you couldn’t help her, and that’s causing you to have those dreams.”
“No—it’s not like that—”
“You have school tomorrow, right? Go to sleep now.”
Ayumi stared fixedly at the book and didn’t say anything.
“Well, I’m going now. Call me if anything happens.”
(That book—is Ayumi being weirdly influenced by it? Namiko, who cherished Ayumi so much, wouldn’t frighten her.)
From that night on, Soji started having frequent dreams of Namiko. He never remembered the content of the dreams when he woke up, but he knew Namiko had appeared in them.
“Soji-san, you look worn out.”
Namiko’s mother had come to visit Soji and Ayumi’s house after a long time.
“I’m sorry to worry you, Mother-in-law. But I’m fine.”
Lately, Soji was often told at work and elsewhere that he looked worn out.
“Dad’s appetite has also dropped recently. I think that’s why he lost weight.”
“Soji-san, you must eat properly. I know you’re suffering over Namiko. I hate the culprit too, and I’m really struggling. But you have to be strong for Ayumi.”
“Yes. I’ll be careful.”
(This is—my house. Someone is in the living room. Someone is making love in my living room—is that?!)
I flung the living room door open.
“Namiko! What are you doing?!”
Namiko and the man with her were greatly surprised by Soji’s sudden appearance.
“Soji?! Why are you here now? Wearing that black hoodie?”
Namiko’s face was utterly shocked. But the next moment, she seemed to grasp the situation.
“N-no, this is, this is not what it looks like.”
Namiko pleaded with Soji.
“What the! I don’t want to get involved in any trouble.”
The man with Namiko said this as he quickly put on his discarded underwear and pants. Soji recognized the man’s face, but he couldn’t recall who he was.
The man grabbed his belongings and quickly headed for the front door. Namiko went to see him off at the door. Soji staggered after the two of them to the entrance. When the man stepped outside, a fierce rage erupted inside Soji.
Soji ran to the door, trying to step outside to chase the man. But Namiko stopped him. Soji shook off Namiko’s grip on his arm. Namiko recoiled slightly.
“What the hell is going on? Why was that man here?”
“It was for you—it was for you.”
(Ah, a wave of nausea comes over me. This wasn’t Namiko’s first betrayal—why do I have to see this in my dreams every night—)
Soji woke up with a gasp. He had remembered the dream this time, which he usually didn’t. He sat up, but immediately buried his face in his hands.
(Why did I have a dream like that? Namiko would never betray me.)
Soji was covered in a cold sweat. He felt ashamed of himself for having such a dream.
On his way home from work, Soji suddenly remembered a place he and Namiko often visited. It was a ten-story apartment building where Soji’s friend used to live alone, and the key to the rooftop door was broken. They first went there to watch summer fireworks. No one else was there except during the fireworks, and Namiko liked the rooftop, so they spent a lot of time there.
(I feel like Namiko is calling me…)
Soji felt that way and climbed up to the apartment rooftop. Few people live in that apartment now. The old building was scheduled for demolition, and most residents had already moved out. Soji’s friend had moved elsewhere years ago.
When he opened the door leading to the rooftop, someone was there.
“Soji—I thought of you so much—I could do anything for you—why did you do it?”
“Namiko! You came to see me!”
Soji ran toward Namiko and tried to hug her. But he only brushed past her; he couldn’t hold her.
“Namiko! Namiko! I want to touch you. I can’t live without you.”
“Then, come with me—that way, we can be together forever.”
“If I can be with Namiko, I’ll go anywhere.”
Soji said these words, but the image of Ayumi flashed in his mind.
“Namiko, Ayumi, please see Ayumi too. She’s suffering even now.”
Namiko sadly shook her head, and then her figure smoothly vanished.
“Namiko, Namiko! Don’t go!”
The area seemed to warp, and Soji felt his mind clouding over. He collapsed onto the ground.
(Where is this? Oh, right, my house.)
Soji found himself in his living room. The two cushions usually on the sofa were on the floor. On the low table in front of the sofa were two glass cups with unfinished iced coffee in them.
“So you slept with other men, too! With my clients!”
“I just wanted to make you happy. I couldn’t bear to see you when you failed to close a deal.”
(Who is that? Someone is at the entrance. That voice sounds like Namiko and—it sounds like my own voice.)
Soji cautiously looked from the living room toward the entrance. With their backs turned to him, Namiko and a man in a deep black hoodie were standing with their backs to the entrance door, trembling violently.
(Who is that? No, this is the dream I had before—I tried to open the door to chase the man. But Namiko blocked me, and we argued.)
Soji’s vision was slightly blurred. It was as if a thin, white veil covered it. The veil flickered, disappearing and returning.
(S-sickening—I didn’t do that. I love Namiko—but I saw it. Namiko sleeping with other men, with my clients. I was powerless, as if I had no physical form. But at that time, I felt everything. That’s why I had a knife from the start—)
“A-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
The me in the deep black hoodie screamed and lunged at Namiko with a knife.
“Namiko!”
I called out Namiko’s name and rushed forward. Namiko, already stabbed several times, reacted to my voice and smiled at me.
Her body slowly fell to the ground. The other me in the black hoodie continued to stab Namiko repeatedly. I tried to step between the two of them, only to realize I had no physical form.
As she lost consciousness, Namiko smiled at the me without a physical body. Then, her eyes closed.
The entrance door clicked open. Ayumi was standing there. The me in the black hoodie had his back to Ayumi. He didn’t look at her.
Ayumi seemed frozen for a moment, but then she turned and ran away.
“I killed her—I did it—I didn’t remember, so why can I feel the sensation of stabbing Namiko now? That was a dream, wasn’t it? I would never kill Namiko—Namiko would never betray me.”
Soji was back on the rooftop of the apartment building scheduled for demolition. He lifted his body from where he lay, but immediately knelt down and buried his head in his hands.
A faint, pleasant scent reached Soji’s nose. It was the scent of the perfume Namiko used to wear. Soji looked up.
“Namiko—”
Namiko was standing in front of him. She wore the same smile she had when she closed her eyes after being stabbed by Soji.
“Soji, let’s go together.”
Namiko held out one hand to Soji. Soji grasped her hand, clinging to her. He stood up as Namiko urged him, and he followed her.
“Grandma, Dad isn’t home yet.”
“He’s not home yet? It’s so late—Ayumi, are you scared being alone? Why don’t you come over to Grandma’s house tonight? I’ll come pick you up. I’ll take you to school tomorrow, too.”
“Yes. Please.”
Soji had said he wouldn’t be late, but he hadn’t returned. Ayumi, worried that the person who killed Namiko hadn’t been caught, called her grandmother out of fear.
The next day, while Ayumi was at school, a call came to Namiko’s parents’ house. It was reported that Soji was found dead below the apartment building that was scheduled for demolition.
